


Letters to Ealdor

by Trexi



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Epistolary, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24177982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trexi/pseuds/Trexi
Summary: Some of the letters sent to Ealdor throughout the series.
Relationships: Balinor/Hunith (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 57





	1. Arthur is a prat (Merlin is an idiot)

Hunith,

Merlin arrived safely in Camelot, and I’m already afraid to say that he might be too much even for me to handle. I will try my best, of course, but considering that he picked a fight with the Prince within his first day here and is currently spending a night in the dungeons, I most definitely will have my hands full with him. I’ll protect him as much as I can with my standing within the court. Of course, if you could write to him and give him even the minutest amount of sense, I would be forever grateful

I have no idea how you managed to keep him out of trouble in his early years. Any advice you might have would be extremely helpful. I’m afraid that the next time he offends the wrong person, his punishment won’t be so lenient. As it is, I managed to trade off the rest of his time in the dungeons for a short stint in the stocks tomorrow morning. The Prince has become interested in Merlin’s insolence, and while I doubt that Arthur means any true harm to your son, his father might not be so forgiving.

Keeping Merlin’s head attached to his shoulders will be my top priority, even if the boy is hardly helping matters.

\- Gaius

*

Mother,

Don’t believe Gaius when he tells you that I’m trying to get into trouble. How was I supposed to know that the prat harassing his servant was the Prince? The Fates must hate me because now I’m stuck with the job of being his manservant. Me, servant to the Prince of Camelot. If I’d known that saving his life in front of everyone would’ve led to this, I would’ve been a lot more subtle about it. Gaius doesn’t seem to believe that I even know what subtlety means, but I’ll show him. I’ve got extra motivation now that I know how the King ‘rewards’ people who save his son’s life.

I start my first day a servant in the morning, and I’m dreading every moment of it. I’ll do my best, but I have a bad feeling that nobody’s going to officially train me on how to do any of it. Luckily, I became friends with Lady Morgana’s maidservant Guinevere (she prefers to be called Gwen), so I’ll be sure to ask for her help whenever I need to it. At least being manservant to the Prince means I’ll get paid well. I’ll send back whatever I can spare to you every month. If you don’t accept it, I’ll just give the money to Will, and he’ll buy you nice things with it that you can’t refuse.

I promise not to go looking for trouble.

\- Merlin

*

Hey Will,

Camelot’s huge. I’ve already gotten lost so many times, and some of the people here have been nice enough to give me directions. There are so many people here, way more than have ever been in Ealdor. And they’re so loud too. Even at night, the castle seems to be filled with guards and servants bustling around. I don’t know how I managed to fall asleep. My second night here was actually in the dungeons. I picked a fight with the wrong person and it turns out he was the bloody Prince. Now, after a whole lot of me trying to avoid trouble, I somehow ended up as his personal servant.

When I arrived in the citadel, the first thing I saw was someone being executed. I’m lucky that I didn’t lose my lunch right there. Did you know that people cheer at those things? I have a view of the courtyard from my window. Gaius won’t let me block it. Apparently, not wanting to see people be hanged, burned alive, or have their heads chopped off is suspicious behaviour. It doesn’t matter that people were never executed back home.

I’ve already had nightmares about being down there as people cheer for my death. I have a servant friend here, and she said that the guy I saw getting executed didn’t even have evidence against him. A noble said he did magic, and everyone believed them. Gwen said not to worry and that it doesn’t happen too often, but I’ve seen how differently nobles are treated to peasants in Camelot. ~~If I offend the wrong person~~

I wish I was back in Ealdor.

\- Merlin

*

Hunith,

Merlin is an idiot. I’m sorry, but it must be said. Nothing came of it, thanks to Arthur having more sense than your son, but Merlin decided it would be a good idea to lie and confess in front of the entire Council that he was a sorcerer. He only did it to save one of his friends, and thankfully the King let the matter drop, but I have never seen someone to do something so foolish in my life. I beg you to remind Merlin how dangerous it is to lie about having magic in Camelot, no matter the reason.

He is not invincible, and I fear the day when he is forced to learn that.

\- Gaius.

*

Mother,

Arthur is still a prat. But he also rode out against his father’s orders to collect a flower that saved my life, so I guess that he’s not completely terrible. I wouldn’t mind sticking around Camelot to see the kind of king he would become. Before Gaius can grossly exaggerate it, I should probably mention that I did drink poison for Arthur, which was why he needed to save me in the first place.

But that was only because Uther refused to believe that the goblet was poisoned and forced me into drinking it after I may have accused a visiting lord of trying to kill Arthur. I might have been wrong about who poisoned the goblet, but I was right that it was poisoned. I should probably stop writing the word poison so much. I didn’t mean to worry you or anything. I’m fine now. Gaius can tell you the same, if you don’t believe me.

I swear that not every day in Camelot ends with me in life threatening situations.

\- Merlin

*

Hey Will,

Letters to and from the castle are sometimes randomly checked, especially when there’s a crisis going on, so please stop telling me the various ways that you would kill Arthur if he lets me (not that the prat is capable of stopping me from doing anything) drink poison for him again.

Could you also please tell my mother that I don’t actually look for trouble? She doesn’t seem to believe me. On a completely unrelated note, there was an incident with a griffin, and a man who is the most noble I’ve ever met, despite being a commoner, may know more about me than Mother and Gaius would prefer. His name is Lancelot, he had to leave Camelot (long story), and I trust that he’s not the type to gossip.

Arthur isn’t going to get me killed ~~on purpose~~.

\- Merlin

*

Hunith,

I worry for Merlin. He is not in trouble, but I fear that the longer he spends in Camelot, the more hardened he will become. Merlin still has some of his innocence, yet the pressures he is under have already begun showing. On one hand, I am glad that he is beginning to mature and think more objectively, but on the other, I fear that he will lose his inherent Merlin-ness.

I doubt that we will have reason to worry about that happening anytime soon. It’s just that I think we should start keeping an eye on him to ensure that he does not turn down a darker path in order to keep those he cares about safe. ~~Perhaps you never should’ve sent him to Camelot.~~

Hopefully, this is simply an old man seeing problems where there are none.

\- Gaius

*

**Not Sent**

Dear Prince William of Ealdor,

I know that you’re not going to get this, partially because I’m not going to bother sending it, but mostly because you’re dead. If I’d just used my magic earlier, then maybe we’d both still be living in Ealdor. Arthur would’ve banished me. Maybe he would’ve even tried running me through, not that I would’ve let him. Now though…

I’m not going throw away your sacrifice like that. I wouldn’t do that to you. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep going on like nothing happened. I’ve never had to live in a world you weren’t in before. Moving to Camelot was hard enough, but now you’re a lot further than a letter away. How am I going to be able to deal with this destiny nonsense without you to ground me?

I have friends here. I know that I do. But it’s different. They don’t know about my magic (except Gaius, but he doesn’t count), and they don’t know me nearly as well as you ~~do~~ did. There’s nobody here to get in trouble with. They all care about the consequences too much. And the longer I’m here, the more that I’m doing the same. It’s harder to be carefree with my magic when I could be caught at any moment and sent to the pyre.

Arthur couldn’t understand why I was friends with a ‘sorcerer’. He gets annoyed at me whenever he catches me mourning. The prat wants me to brush off your death like I’m one of his knights and that you weren’t a brother to me in all but blood. But I know that you wouldn’t want me to mope around the castle forever, so once I’ve finished this letter, I’m going to pull myself up and move on.

Arthur’s not perfect, but I know that he’s going to be a good king. He has to be. I’ll tell him about my magic one day, when the time is right. I swear it.

I can’t even keep this letter around because I’ve everything that I’ve mentioned. I’ll have to burn it. I won’t be allowed to mention your name around the castle anymore either. The King found out about your lie after Morgana used you as an example of good magic, and he’s banned any mention of you. I spent a night in the dungeons for ignoring that ban in front of Arthur.

Thank you for being the best friend I’ve ever had.

\- Merlin

*

Dear Hunith,

We met a few weeks ago. I was with Merlin, Lady Morgana, and Prince Arthur. I’m writing to let you know that Merlin doesn’t seem to be really acknowledging what happened to his friend. Maybe you already know that. I don’t really know if this letter is even welcome. I’m just worried about Merlin. He’s been such a good friend to me since he arrived in Camelot, and it’s hard to see someone so bright and happy forcing his smiles.

Merlin might be talking to you or Gaius about it. But on the chance that he isn’t, I’ll send this letter anyway.

\- Gwen

*

To Hunith of Ealdor,

Please tell Merlin to stop trying to copy Arthur’s emotionally repressed state and learn how to actually talk to people about his problems.

\- Lady Morgana le Fay

*

Hunith,

I have tried to talk to Merlin, and no amount of you yelling at me through letters will change that the boy simply won’t listen.

\- Gaius

*

Dear Hunith,

Thank you for your kind words. I’m not sure how I would’ve been able to handle my father’s death without the support of you and my friends. I’m sure that hunting my brother down to lecture him would be unnecessary though.

\- Gwen

*

Mother,

I know that we weren’t able to speak much while you were here, and I wanted to apologise for getting you caught up in my mess. I’ll do better next time.

\- Merlin


	2. Arthur is a clotpole (Merlin is reckless)

Mother,

Arthur is a clotpole who doesn’t know when someone’s deceiving him even if every sign points towards it. After everything that I’ve done for him and he still doesn’t trust me. Unbelievable. He’s lucky that I have friends here in Camelot who’d be upset if he got hurt, or I wouldn’t care so much about keeping his ungrateful ass alive.

\- Merlin

*

To Hunith of Ealdor,

Don’t worry about making the journey here. I’ll remind Arthur of all the things Merlin could do to him without the Prince ever knowing. Arthur won’t be driving Merlin off anytime soon.

\- Lady Morgana le Fay

*

Dear Hunith,

I’m starting to understand why Merlin spends so much time complaining about Arthur. I had to lecture the Prince about his entitled attitude today. Me. Lecturing the Crown Prince of Camelot. I’d love to tell you about the entire situation and why exactly he deserved every second of the lecture, even if I may have completely forgone propriety in the moment, but I have to get back home before a certain arrogant pig accidentally burns my house down.

\- Gwen

*

Hunith,

You must know how much I try to protect your son from anything that might threaten his safety. You must understand that every choice I make has to be for the good of Camelot first and for the good of Merlin second. You must forgive me if that means that I’ve helped strip away more of his innocence during this past week than I ever wanted to.

I cannot tell you the events in this letter, and I apologise for that. But I beg you to understand that I had to act in a way that would protect the most lives. ~~If I had let Merlin tell her~~ I hope more than anything that my forcing Merlin’s hand on this matter has not darkened his heart. Every morning since, I have caught him looking at me with some resentment before he remembers to hide it away.

All I can do is hope that the boy does not learn to push his emotions down too often, or I fear the consequences.

\- Gaius

*

Mother,

~~Why did you have to send me to Camelot? Why could you have not sent me anywhere else? Why am I trapped here by a destiny that stops me from helping the people I care about?~~

Arthur has a crush, which is making him even more of a prat than usual. Personally, I don’t think he’s good enough for her, but maybe one day he’ll be close enough.

\- Merlin

*

To the Lady Hunith,

I’m unsure if your son has mentioned me before. I met him during an incident with a griffin and have recently had the good fortune of crossing paths him once more. I was glad to see that he’s still up to his old tricks, even if he isn’t quite as careful as I’d hoped he would learn to be.

It was in everyone’s but his best interests that I did not return to Camelot, and I was hoping that you might aid me in learning how to check on Merlin through letters. I confess that I haven’t been keeping as much contact with him as I could have, and perhaps should have, and I would like to remedy that. Merlin deserves to have as many people looking out for him as is possible.

If you do not see me as a fit friend for your son and therefore do not wish to help me, then I would understand. However, I will continue striving to be the best possible friend I can be for Merlin, even if that must be from a distance for now. It’s the least I can do for a man who’s had so much faith in me. Should Merlin ever need me, I will be there for him no matter what stands in my way. This, I swear to you.

\- Lancelot du Lac

*

Hunith,

You can trust Lancelot.

\- Gaius

*

Hunith of Ealdor,

Your son has requested that his reward for saving my life should go towards his home village. As Ealdor is outside of Camelot’s borders, I am unable to do this, so instead I have enclosed the coins for you to use at your own discretion, whatever that may be.

Do not expect any further funds from the Crown.

\- King Uther Pendragon

*

To Hunith of Ealdor,

Did Uther really send you money? I hadn’t even realised that Merlin saved his life recently at all. Then again, I swear that man has saved all of us at one point without asking one word of thanks from us. ~~There was a rumour going around the Court that Arthur almost~~ I’m sure that Uther was simply pressed into a situation where he felt the need to bribe Merlin in some capacity. It would be incredibly uncharacteristic of him to show any sort of genuine gratitude. I’m not sure that he’s even capable of it.

I wouldn’t worry too much about Uther singling you out. The real miracle is that he even knew who you were. Then again, he probably interrogated Merlin on it. I’m sure he wasn’t too harsh, so there’s no need to worry. Uther knows better than to alienate someone who has leverage over him. Hopefully, Uther will forget about your existence by the end of the week. Even if he doesn’t, you’re protected by the political backlash that would come with him crossing the border into Essetir.

\- Lady Morgana le Fay

*

Mother,

I almost left Camelot. There was this girl, who had the most beautiful smile, and we just fit together so well, you know? She couldn’t stay in Camelot, and after everything that’s been happening lately, I was at the point where I would’ve been happy to finally leave it all behind. But then she died.

And now I have to go back to pretending that nothing happened, that I wasn’t so close to leaving. I can’t talk to my friends here about how close I was to finally getting away from this place ~~that keeps taking and taking and taking~~ because they never even knew she existed. Arthur would think that I made her up ~~never mind that he unknowingly killed her~~ , Gwen would be hurt that I never told her about Freya in the first place, and Morgana…

She’s got plenty to deal with and doesn’t need me dumping more on her plate.

It would feel weird talking to Gaius about this. He’s the only one here who truly understands how important it is that I stay in Camelot, and I can’t help thinking that he’s disappointed in how ready I was to leave it all. I hope that you can understand why I would’ve left if I could have. Hopefully, I haven’t disappointed you too.

At least Arthur managed to notice that I was sad. Guess he isn’t entirely emotionally repressed like Morgana says.

\- Merlin

*

Dear Hunith,

I worry for the Lady Morgana. She has always had this drive to seek justice, yet recently it seems that she does not always clearly see the person she is defending. I’ll forever be grateful for what she tried to do for my father last year. And I have no doubts that she is still the wonderful person she has always been. Perhaps I am imagining things after so many stressful times. It’s probably nothing.

I know that you write to her on occasion though, and I was hoping that if you ever noticed something off, then you could help her be more objective in certain situations. I apologise if my asking you this is crossing some line. I’d never want to pressure you in involving yourself in matters of Camelot when you are busy with more pressing matters in Ealdor.

Thank you for your advice on dealing with a certain knight.

\- Gwen

*

Hunith,

I had to tell Merlin who his father is.

\- Gaius

*

**Not Sent**

My love (if I may still call you that),

I’ve met our son. He is truly wonderful, and I could not be prouder of the man he has become. If I had known about him, I swear to you that I would’ve found a way back to Ealdor years ago. I understand that I left you with no way of telling me about him, and that even if you could have, then I had no right to being a part of his life. For now, I am merely grateful to know him, even as we journey to Camelot to stop Kilgharrah. If after this, you never want to hear from me again or want me around Merlin, then I would leave your lives once more.

I beg that you do not make that decision though. There has not been a day that has gone by that I have no thought of you, and I wish to see you again more than I express. I dread what Uther may try to do to me once I have dealt with Kilgharrah, and I will do my best to escape whatever that may be, so that I can protect our son from the tyrant. I must confess that I’m not still the man you once knew. I’ve become bitter in my isolation, and if I did not deserve you before, then I most definitely do not now.

I’ll send this letter once we past the next village. Hopefully, you will be able and willing to send a reply to me via Merlin.

\- Balinor Ambrosius

*

Dear Hunith of Ealdor,

I’m writing to inform you that your son is one of the bravest men I’ve had the honour of meeting. He rode out with us to face the Great Dragon without hesitation. Merlin was unarmed, yet he lasted longer in the battle than myself and my fellow knights.

Actually, if it might not trouble you too much, could you please ask your son to be a little more cautious? I worry that one day his luck may run out and that we would not be able to come to his aid before it’s too late. He’s as loyal as any knight, but he doesn’t have our training, and he has this unfortunate habit of getting into trouble the moment we take our eyes off him. That would be fine, if it weren’t for his constant refusal to simply ask for help.

~~Does he not understand that I would be more than willing to repay his loyalty to Arthur in spades should he simply ask?~~

If you could get Merlin to be a little less reckless, then my life would be far less stressful, but it’s no trouble if you cannot. I swear that he’s more stubborn than the Prince.

Thank you for raising one of the noblest men in Albion.

\- Sir Leon of Camelot

*

Mother,

I’ll be arriving in Ealdor shortly after this letter does, so I can finally prove that I haven’t hidden any injuries after facing the Great Dragon. If I’d known that Leon was going to write to you, I would’ve stopped him. Whatever you sent back has him hovering like I’m going to suddenly get into the middle of a three-kingdom-wide war the moment he looks away. Arthur and Gaius keep laughing at me, which isn’t helping at all.

I need to talk to you about something important while I’m there. It’s not going to be an easy conversation, but we need to have it.

See you soon.

\- Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea to this fic actually came to me while I was writing the latest Constant Missteps chapter. I mentioned that Lancelot, Gwaine, and Gwen have been sending letters to Hunith, and then I realised that it was the sort of thing that could fit really well alongside canon. I’ve never tried any sort of epistolary story before, but I figured that I’d give it a go, even if it was inevitably going to be sad because of the whole Canon Compliant part. It turned out to be both easier and harder to write than expected. Hopefully, I’ve written it well thus far.


	3. Arthur is a dollophead (Merlin is worrying)

Dear Hunith,

Lady Morgana has been found. I worry about how quickly she has forced herself to settle back into the court life, but above all I’m grateful that she is happy and healthy. This past year without her has been so difficult, outside of my having been assigned to no other noble while she was missing. The castle itself seems brighter now that Lady Morgana is home.

I hope that this is a sign of happy times to come.

\- Gwen

*

Mother,

Remember what we talked about during my last visit. I want to believe everything is alright, but I’ve already seen that it’s not.

\- Merlin

*

To Hunith of Ealdor,

I wanted to thank you for your kind words to Gwen over the past year that I was missing. It’s good to know that someone I can trust was looking out for my friend during my captivity. Perhaps I could organise a short visit to Ealdor. We have so much to talk about.

\- Lady Morgana le Fay

*

Hunith,

I’m afraid that Merlin’s apprenticeship leaves no spare time for leaving Camelot long enough to make the trip home. While, I’m grateful to Lady Morgana’s offer to talk to Prince Arthur about giving Merlin a holiday, it simply isn’t possible at the moment. It will be several months until Merlin is able to visit again. Please don’t risk your safety on a journey to Camelot instead. The roads have been plagued by bandits lately.

\- Gaius

*

Dear Hunith of Ealdor,

You’ll be glad to know that Merlin has been pardoned now that Gaius has informed the King about being possessed by a goblin. I’m not sure that anybody in Camelot has been accused and found innocent of having magic quite as many times as your son, but I am sure that it is merely a sign of his worrying ability to find trouble where there is none to be found.

Did you know that Merlin is remarkably skilled at escaping from the dungeons? He’s done it on multiple occasions now, usually in his endeavour to help the kingdom in any way possible. I’ve been training the guards to be better, so as to not be tricked by a servant so often, yet Merlin continues to outclass them. It is a shame that Merlin cannot train the guards himself. Castle security would be stronger than ever if he did.

Merlin wouldn’t happen to have any noble blood, would he?

\- Sir Leon of Camelot

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

I owe you a great debt of gratitude for raising the truest friend I have ever had. Granted we’ve only known each other for a few days, and I have since been banished from Camelot, but Merlin is the first person I’ve met in a long time that made me want to stay in one place. He inspires loyalty in all that know him, even if that’s wasted on that prince of his.

Merlin is also bloody brilliant in a tavern fight. Joining in was the best impulse decision that I’ve ever made, even if it got me a minor stab wound. Merlin helped patch me up, so it was no matter.

If you ever find yourself in trouble, I’ve enclosed a list of locations where you should be able to reach me within the next few months. I look forward to hearing from you and any stories you might be willing to share about Merlin’s childhood.

\- Gwaine

*

Mother,

What do you mean Gwaine wrote to you? How did he even find out your name? I didn’t tell him. At least I don’t think that I told him. We talked a lot while polishing the entire army’s boots (long story), so I might’ve mentioned it then, but I didn’t expect him to write to you or anything.

The tavern fight was Arthur’s fault, and it was started to protect people. I don’t actually go looking for trouble you know.

You can trust Gwaine. He’s a good man, and he’s saved both mine and Arthur’s life. He might not know as much about me as Lancelot does, but I have a feeling that if he did, he wouldn’t react poorly. If you do need help, and you can’t reach me, then Gwaine would be a good option. I’m pretty sure he could beat Arthur in a swordfight. Don’t tell the dollophead I said that.

Don’t believe everything that my friends tell you.

\- Merlin.

*

To Merlin’s mother who’s apparently also friends with my sister,

I have no plans on leaving Camelot again now that I’ve taken over the forge. Gwen’s already lectured me about running off without a word of warning. I’m not really sure it was necessary to threaten me so much. When I told your son about it, he laughed at me. Leon said it was a rite of passage. I’m not even sure how you know Leon ~~, and I’m kind of terrified of you~~. Isn’t Ealdor a really small village on the border of Essetir and Camelot? How do you know so many people here when you’ve never even lived here?

I’ve already sworn that I’ll be a better brother to Gwen, but I’ll swear it again if it means you don’t find me in the middle of the night.

\- Elyan

*

Dear Hunith,

I’m not sure what you said to Elyan, but he’s been jumping at shadows every night. While it was a little funny at the start, I think it’s affecting his sleep, and fatigue is dangerous when working in a forge. If you could please assure him that you are too busy preparing for the harvest to make the journey to Camelot anytime soon, then I would be grateful.

\- Gwen

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

Once again I have been graced with your son’s company, even if this was only for a quest to save his princess. I figured that you’d like my name for Arthur. He gets himself into trouble so frequently that he’s just like a princess from stories, always in need of rescuing and usually from handsome travellers like me or overworked servants like Merlin.

We faced wyverns together in the Perilous Lands, and for some reason your son thinks that I was helping him out of loyalty to Arthur. Sometimes Merlin’s ignorance of how far people would go for him is funny; other times it’s worrying. No matter. I’m sure that I’ll have another opportunity to show him who my loyalty is with soon enough.

\- Gwaine

*

Mother,

Why did you never tell me that Gaius was once engaged? You must have plenty of stories about his awkward courting days that I could’ve been using against him for years.

\- Merlin

*

Dear Hunith,

I’m being banished from Camelot by the King for loving Arthur. I had hope that I could stay with you in Ealdor until I figure out where I’m to go next.

\- Gwen

*

Hunith,

You would not believe what foolishness Merlin has gotten up to now. I both wish you were here to see this utter madness and am glad that you are safely away from the chaos that is Camelot.

\- Gaius

*

Dear Hunith,

Thank you for your offer. I’ve since been falsely accused of sorcery and then pardoned. Things may not be perfect, but they are at least back to normal.

~~Though I am getting more and more worried that something is wrong with the Lady Morgana.~~

\- Gwen

*

To the Lady Hunith,

I write to you a Knight of Camelot. I’ve discovered that Sirs Leon, Gwaine, and Elyan have been writing to you for some time, and we’ve declared it a tradition for the Knights of the Round Table to send letters to Ealdor. You should expect a letter from Sir Percival soon enough. I mentioned travelling with him in my previous letter. I trust him explicitly, though I’ve not disclosed everything to him. Some things should only be shared by certain people after all.

I’m ready to protect Merlin the best I can from my new position in the castle. I’ve already bonded with Sir Leon over Merlin’s tendency to find trouble wherever he goes. Sir Gwaine seems to encourage this, but I have no doubt that he looks out for Merlin in his own way. Your son will not have to be alone any longer. He has plenty of friends in Camelot now, and I’ll remind him of that every day.

\- Sir Lancelot of Camelot

*

Lady Hunith,

Gwaine is currently sitting on me until I write this letter to you. I could easily move him off, but I prefer letting him believe that he has the upper hand for now. I’m told that you live in a farming village and have suffered under Cenred’s rule. We have that in common. My village was destroyed and looted by his army merely because it was in their path. I’m glad that Lancelot found me before I lost myself in revenge.

I haven’t had the opportunity to get to know your son yet. From the tales the other knights tell me though, I’m sure that we’ll get along well. So far, he seems extraordinarily brave for someone so small. If he could fight with a sword, I think that Arthur would’ve knighted him alongside the rest of us. He knighted me after all, and I was just a stranger with a common friend and goal.

\- Sir Percival of Camelot

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

It is I, your favourite knight. Now that Arthur was stupid enough to knight me, he’ll never get me to leave. Unless Merlin is exiled or decides that Camelot isn’t good enough for him. I’ve made many new friends who are united in our goal to protect Merlin, and Arthur if we have to. It turns out that Leon remembers me well and is sorry for assuming the worst of me during that whole banishment debacle. Princess never officially rescinded my banishment, but nobody’s dared to bring it up considering that we ‘commoner’ knights saved their sorry asses.

If it weren’t for Merlin, many of us wouldn’t have even been there. I wish I could shout that at those stuck up nobles whenever they turn their noses up at the sight of us being friendly with the best servant in all of Albion. But no, Arthur says we shouldn’t antagonise them. Jokes on him. Elyan, Percival, and I are already planning a series of pranks. I’m sure we’ll be able to rope Leon and Lancelot into them too. Oh, and Gwen. Gwen deserves a little happy pranking to feel better after the Morgana incident.

\- Sir Gwaine of wherever Merlin calls home

*

Mother,

How many letters do you get in a week? Ealdor must think you’re the most popular woman in Camelot, and you don’t even live here. You might actually be the most popular behind Gwen now that I think about it, as you should be. Tell me if any of the knights are bothering you though. I’ll handle them.

\- Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finding the right voices for Percival and Elyan took a whole lot of going through the episode transcripts on the Merlin wiki. I could've rewatched some episodes, but I'm 80% sure that would lead me to rewatching the entire series, and I'm not emotionally prepared for that.


	4. Arthur is blind (Merlin is terrifying)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the Canon Compliant tag.

Lancelot is dead.

\- Merlin

*

Dear Hunith,

Merlin has closed himself off to us since Lancelot’s death. At first, I thought he was feeling guilty over Lancelot’s sacrifice, but I’m afraid that there’s something more there. Those two were close friends, always ducking their heads together and whispering, trading jokes that make no sense to everyone else, and communicating in glances alone. But now I’ve noticed Merlin look up to a group of knights as if he’s still expecting Lancelot to be there, only to force a smile when he realises that the knight is gone.

Losing Lancelot was hard on a lot of us for different reasons, but Merlin is the only one who refuses to so much as mention it. I’m reminded of when his childhood friend Will died. Like then, I cannot find a way past Merlin’s fake grins to the grief that I know he’s burying. I just want to show him that he still has friends here in Camelot. Maybe we don’t share whatever bond he had with Lancelot, but we’re still here. I don’t know how to get through to him.

If you have any advice at all, please give it. I’d ask you to make the journey to Camelot if I weren’t worried about Morgana finding you on the way.

\- Gwen

*

Mother,

Uther was killed by magic. Arthur is now King.

\- Merlin

*

Hunith,

I strongly advise against making the journey to Camelot at this time. You’re right to be concerned about Merlin, but there isn’t much anyone can do to on the matter right now. Perhaps you’ll be able to arrange a visit during less turbulent times instead.

\- Gaius

*

Mother,

I wish that I had the time to visit Ealdor today. I’d rather tell you this in person, but it’s taking longer than I thought it would to adjust to being manservant to the King rather than manservant to the Crown Prince. Not that Arthur’s any help in that. He’s busy adjusting to his own increase in duties to worry about mine.

Do you remember Father’s old friend? The grouchy one who likes speaking cryptically? I found and made a friend just like him. Her name is Aithusa. She’s the most adorable ~~d~~ kid ever. Sure, she might not be able to speak yet, but between Father’s friend and me, I think we’ll be able to teach her. Any and all mud on this letter is her fault. She keeps wanting to cuddle while I write this. I wish that I could bring her to Ealdor, so you could meet her.

Lancelot would have loved her. I’m not sure if I mentioned that he met Father’s old friend before he died. Maybe one day my other friends will be able to meet Aithusa. I won’t risk introducing them until I’m sure that she’ll be perfectly safe. We’ve known each other for a single day, and I already want to protect her from all the dangers in the world. I know that’s not possible, but it won’t stop me from trying.

Even with everything that’s been happening lately, Aithusa makes me hopeful for the future.

\- Merlin and Aithusa

*

Dear Hunith of Ealdor,

Merlin is terrifying at times. I made it an exercise for new knights to trail him whenever he sneaks out after dark, and the furthest they’ve managed is the upper parts of the Lower Town. Even the most experienced knights cannot track him beyond the citadel walls. I only know that Merlin spends time in the forests because of spotting him coming back to the castle with leaves caught in his hair.

I’ve never questioned him on the matter, of course. Merlin has my utmost trust and is the least likely to betray Camelot. If that weren’t the case, I might be concerned at how proficient he is at moving through the kingdom undetected considering how many times I’ve seen him trip over nothing during hunts, patrols, and quests.

Did you teach him such skills yourself, or is it something that Merlin has picked up during his time in Camelot?

\- Sir Leon of Camelot

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

Merlin is missing, but there’s no need to worry. I swear that we’ll find him if it’s the last thing we do. Merlin’s tough. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already escaped and is on his way back to Camelot.

\- Sir Gwaine of wherever Merlin calls home

*

Lady Hunith,

We found Merlin alive and well.

\- Sir Percival of Camelot

*

To the mother of King Arthur’s incompetent manservant,

Your son has access to information that I require. Convince him to tell me who Emrys is, or I will ensure that the next time bandits seek to raid a border village, yours will be their first target.

\- Lord Agravaine de Bois

*

Mother,

Agravaine did what? Don’t worry about his threats. I’ll send Father’s old friend to keep an eye on Ealdor just in case he wasn’t bluffing. I wish that I could simply take your letter to Arthur as proof of his uncle’s treachery, but the prat is blind to any accusations against the man. I’m starting to believe that Arthur’s being purposely obtuse after Morgana’s betrayal and Uther’s lies about her parentage.

Soon enough, Arthur will realise exactly what kind of man his uncle is. After that happens, I’ll drag the prat out to Ealdor to apologise for Agravaine’s threat.

\- Merlin and Aithusa

*

Hunith,

Merlin has proven that he’s a capable physician. There are still some more things he needs to learn before he could take over my position, but I no longer fear for the health of Camelot should I be forced to retire. Some days, I miss the boy who arrived on my doorstep all those years ago. Today, I’m simply proud of the man he has become.

\- Gaius

*

Lady Hunith,

What is the best way to apologise to Merlin without letting him brush the issue off as inconsequential?

\- Sir Percival of Camelot

*

Dear Hunith of Ealdor,

During our return journey from the village of Longstead, we encountered a creature known as a Lamia. At the time, we believed her to be a helpless young girl in dire need of our assistance and we (myself, Sir Percival, Sir Elyan, and Sir Gwaine) were unknowingly enchanted by her magic. Our actions following this were irrational, out of character, and dangerous. We fought among ourselves and turned our aggression on the one attempting to inform us of our drastic change in behaviour. That person was Merlin.

Words alone cannot begin to explain how sorry I am for any harm that I brought onto your son. I understand that we were under enchantment, but that does not change the way Merlin has been impacted by the event. He flinches away from us now, brushes our apologies off with a fake smile, and has started acting like he is merely a servant to us instead of a dear friend. I’m lost in how to regain his trust.

I’ve offered to train him in shooting a crossbow, but he made an excuse and tripped over himself in his effort to escape the room. I’ve helped him carry armour through the castle, but he stayed silent the entire time. I’ve even attempted making him his favourite dinner, but I almost burned down the castle kitchens in the process, and even that only got the smallest smile out of Merlin.

All I can do is continue trying, but I fear it will never be enough.

\- Sir Leon of Camelot

*

To Merlin’s mother who hopefully doesn’t want to kill me,

I’m sure that you’ve already heard what happened with the Lamia, and I was hoping that you could give me some advice. I want to craft Merlin something as an apology. Considering his fighting ability, I’m thinking that an easily concealed dagger would be best. Do you think he’d rather something with an elegant design or a simple blade instead? It needs to be something that he’s unafraid to use to defend himself against us just in case we’re ever enchanted again. Would he accept multiple daggers? I’d feel better about his safety if I knew that he had at least one each in his boots, and one strapped to his thighs and forearms.

How many daggers are too many?

\- Sir Elyan of Camelot

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

I failed your son. I’m not sure that I deserve his friendship, let alone my knighthood. I should have fought harder against the enchantment. I should have noticed that the Lamia was bad news the moment I saw her. I should have done better. I’ve apologised to Merlin. He smiled and said it wasn’t my fault, but he’s wrong. I failed in protecting him. Worse, I was the one he needed protecting from. If I didn’t know that staying here is the best way to make up for that, I’d have forced Arthur to strip me of my title and left Camelot for good.

I don’t deserve to be here.

\- Gwaine

*

Lady Hunith,

I’ll speak to Gwaine. The last thing Merlin needs right now is one of his friends destroying themselves over this.

\- Sir Percival of Camelot.

*

Mother,

Thank you for stopping Elyan from crafting me six daggers. It’s hard enough to keep Aithusa from stealing the one. I’m pretty sure that she thinks the word ‘no’ actually means ‘yes’.

\- Merlin and Aithusa

*

Dear Hunith,

I’m sorry to hear that you can’t make it to Camelot. The wedding won’t be the same without you. By the time this reaches you, I’ll be Queen of Camelot. I can barely believe that this is actually happening. I’ve told Merlin to pinch me whenever I start looking like I might freak out. He’s already done it a few times.

I think he might need to do it again soon. The jousting tournament is about to start.

\- Gwen

*

Mother,

The wedding is off. Gwen’s going to need a place to stay. Ealdor is her only option. I’ve never wanted to quit more than I do today. ~~Arthur’s lucky that I can’t leave his side without bringing misfortune on whoever is with me.~~ Everything’s a mess right now.

I’m glad you couldn’t make the journey, even if it means missing out on introducing you to a certain impatient young lady.

\- Merlin and Aithusa

*

Hunith,

Merlin is coping. I wouldn’t say he is doing well, but he is at least pretending to be. He paces before letters are delivered and retreats to his room when none arrive from Gwen. We’re all worried to hear that she hasn’t made it to you yet. Well, those of us who know where she was going at least. I’ve had to stop Merlin from going out to track her down. Now isn’t the time for him to be leaving the citadel for long periods. Arthur is more suspicious of potential traitors than ever. ~~He reminds me of his father.~~

I’ll do what I can to distract Merlin. I’m afraid that’s the best I can do for him these days. Arthur’s not the only one who is growing more closed off.

\- Gaius

*

Hey Gwen,

Mother said you arrived safely in Ealdor. I’m sorry that I couldn’t ~~stop him~~ ~~come with you~~ write earlier. Things have been pretty hectic at the castle lately. I ~~hate him sometimes~~ ~~can’t do this anymore~~ really miss you.

Anyway, you’ll be happy to know that George has been secretly courting Bridget like you bet. I’ve enclosed your winnings. ~~I know they’ll never be enough after~~

I’ll see if I can arrange for Elyan’s next patrol to take him close to the Essetir border. ~~It’s the least I can do.~~ ~~Please forgive me.~~ ~~I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too.~~

~~-~~ Your friend, Merlin

*

Hunith,

I’ve mostly recovered from my time in the dungeons. Morgana failed in shattering this old man’s will to live. It helps that Merlin is remarkably efficient at looking after me, taking on my duties, helping organise a wedding and coronation, and going out to do who knows what outside the citadel. I’ve tried to stop Merlin from overworking himself, but he’s become adept at avoiding uncomfortable conversations.

I never thought the day would come when he pulled his infamous disappearing acts on me.

\- Gaius

*

Dear Hunith,

Thank you for letting me stay in Ealdor. I’m glad to hear that your village was mostly unaffected by Agravaine and his men searching for Arthur. There are no signs of Morgana in the kingdom, but Merlin doubts she is gone without seeing proof of her body. I hope he is wrong, even if I know that he rarely is on matters of Camelot’s security. If I thought that Merlin would accept it, I would push for Arthur to make him the official Advisor to the Crown.

Something has been bothering Merlin lately, and I don’t think it’s our new difference in station.

\- Queen Guinevere of Camelot

*

Aithusa is missing.

\- Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think that's it for the Aithusa feels, then you underestimate the final chapter.


	5. Arthur is alright (Please check on Merlin)

Mother,

A lot has happened recently. I won’t be able to tell you everything. I’m not sure if I would be able to tell you in person. It’s too much. These past couple of weeks have just been too much.

I found Aithusa. I found her, and I had to leave her, and I failed her. Anyone could have done a better job looking after her. She’s with Morgana now. My little one can’t speak. Her body is twisted like she was forced to grow in a small space. She tried attacking me. I’m not even sure that she remembers me. But if she does then that’s so much worse because that means she hates me now. And I deserve it. I deserve all her hatred and more for failing my duty. If I had just made more time to look for her, if I had just told Arthur to shove it, and if I had just prioritised my duty to her over my duty to Arthur for one week, then maybe she’d be safe and with me now.

And now something has happened that means I can’t risk leaving Arthur’s side for too long or he’ll die. I know where Aithusa is, but it’s too far away to make the journey within the night. I can’t go to her. I can’t help her with her injuries. I can’t leave this place ~~, and I hate it~~. Once Morgana is defeated, I’m leaving Camelot. I’ll find a way to help Aithusa, even if it takes the rest of my life. I’m done basing every life choice over how it will affect Arthur. There’s only so much left that I can do for him. I’ll make sure he knows exactly what I’ve sacrificed for him and his kingdom before I go.

There’s a new Knight of Camelot. His name is Mordred. He knows more about me than even Lancelot did. I don’t think that he’s the type to gossip, but I can’t bring myself to trust him. Not after he left me for dead with an injured Morgana. I’m sure that he was simply prioritising getting Arthur to safety. But considering that nobody came to find me, I’m finding it a little hard to trust his innocent young knight act. It helps that we’ve met before. I’ve never made the best choices when it comes to Mordred, and it seems like that’s coming to haunt me.

You’ll be happy to know that we found Gwaine and Percival. Sorry for not mentioning that first.

\- Merlin

*

~~Em~~ Merlin’s Mother,

I am told that this is a tradition for the knights favoured by the King. Sir Leon says your name is Hunith, but Sirs Elyan, Percival, and Gwaine were insistent that you are a Lady even though ~~Em~~ Merlin is a commoner, so I am not sure how much my fellow knights may be lying to me. I’m not sure if this even is a tradition. If it is not, then I apologise. On the off chance that Merlin has told you about me, you most probably despise me as much as he does. I do not understand why he feels that way, and I wish that I could simply find a way to make up for it. I’m sure that we could be quite close considering all that we have in common. But ~~Em~~ Merlin rejects my every attempt to reach out.

I apologise. I didn’t mean to bother you with this. I’m sure you have more important business to attend to. I doubt you bothered reading this far anyway.

\- Sir Mordred of Camelot

*

Dearest Hunith,

I’ve just found out that half of Camelot seems to have been writing to you for years. Mordred was kind enough to tell me as much ~~after I interrogated him~~ after he received your reply. I’m sure that everyone’s been complaining about your son to you, so I won’t add too much to that. It must have been truly stressful merely raising the man. I cannot begin to imagine what an absolute nightmare child he must’ve been. Why just this morning he decided that an appropriate way to greet his king was to drag me out of bed by my feet.

But I’m not writing to complain about Merlin. Instead, might I enquire on how you’ve been faring? We weren’t able to talk much the last time I was in Ealdor. I was understandably distracted by Camelot having fallen under Morgana’s control, my injury, reuniting with Guinevere, being hunted by my traitorous uncle, and Merlin’s sheer idiocy. Actually, he was immeasurably brave throughout that entire incident, and Camelot owes him a great debt of gratitude that I couldn’t hope to repay. He never lost hope for one second, and I’m not sure that I would’ve survived that incident without him.

Admittedly, I’ve been quite worried about him lately. I haven’t had the time to ~~annoy him into telling me~~ ask him what’s been bothering him. It seems that every time I try, either something comes up or he’s in one of his moods. You must know of them. He gets this look in his eye like he’s been holding up the weight of the world for years and has only just realised that he’s been crushed by it. I cannot begin to fathom what could’ve done that to him, but it’s not like he tells me much about himself. I swear that the man has more secrets than the castle’s vaults sometimes.

I’d feel better if I knew that he was at least opening up to someone, but I don’t think he has since Lancelot died.

You’ll talk some sense into him, won’t you? I’m not sure how it happened, but he and Guinevere aren’t nearly as close as they used to be. ~~I fear that the pressure of the crown might’ve been too much for her.~~ Of course, Merlin has other friends here. He’s almost too good at making friends, but at the same time, I think he’s been closing himself off from everyone more and more. If he weren’t so loyal, then I think he would’ve left Camelot by now. I’m not sure how I managed to earn such dedication, but I’m grateful for it every day, even if he still jokes about feeding me rat soup, as if that incident didn’t happen a decade ago.

Please check on Merlin if you can. He’s my closest friend, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.

\- King Arthur Pendragon

*

Hunith,

He won’t talk to me. I haven’t even been able to bring up his plans to leave before he’s rushing out the door on his way to do something for Arthur.

\- Gaius

*

Mother,

Arthur is alright. I’m only saying this because he actually listened to me for once and now Camelot has a new ally instead of another enemy to worry about. I think he’s finally at the point where he won’t need me around for much longer. And I’m not just saying that so I can justify leaving.

Stop trying to interrogate me through Gaius. There’s a good reason Leon applauds me for leaving the castle unnoticed.

\- Merlin

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

Merlin’s planning to do what? I guess I’m hanging up my red cloak once Morgana is defeated then. I’ll see what I can do to remind Merlin of how many friends he has here, but if he chooses to go, he won’t be alone. Maybe one day we’ll come back to Camelot. Maybe we won’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t the only Knight who’s going to follow him. Even Leon would go, so long as the Princess got his head out of his ass and went after Merlin.

~~I wish Merlin could just tell me these things.~~ Pity that I can’t tell Merlin that he’s not getting rid of me so easily. It’ll be easier to follow him if he isn’t hiding from me specifically.

\- Sir Gwaine of wherever Merlin calls home

*

Mother,

How am I to protect Arthur when every choice I make is the wrong one?

\- Merlin

*

Dear Hunith,

How can I bridge the gap when Merlin treats our difference in station like it matters more than our years of friendship? I know that I could have handled my duties as Queen better, but it seems like Merlin’s taken the first opportunity to distance himself and refuses to come back into my life. We are still friendly. I’m not sure that there is anyone left in the castle who is not friendly with Merlin. And that’s the problem. Merlin treats me the same as he would some of the knights.

I miss my closest friend. But it seems that every time I finally have a break from my duties, he is either nowhere to be found, or he is insistent on me spending my time with anyone else. If I knew that at least one person was breaking through his self-imposed distancing, then I would feel better. Jealous, maybe, but at least I wouldn’t have to worry about his wellbeing. I’d rather see one genuine smile out of Merlin and lose his friendship entirely than hold onto the tatters of our closeness and see only those fake grins.

Perhaps when Morgana is no longer a threat to the kingdom, I’ll have the time to lock Merlin in a room until he spills on why he’s been distancing himself from everyone.

\- Queen Guinevere of Camelot

*

Gwen’s missing.

\- Merlin

*

To Merlin’s mother who doesn’t live in Camelot for some reason,

My sister is missing. I’m not sure if anyone has told you yet. I failed at protecting her, and I take the full blame if she’s hurt before we manage to rescue her.

We set out at first light.

\- Sir Elyan of Camelot

*

Elyan is dead. We found Gwen.

\- Merlin.

*

Hunith,

I’ve caught him packing in the middle of the night. He’s always unpacked come dawn, but I fear that one day I will wake up and Merlin will be gone. You say that he’s waiting for Morgana to be defeated first, yet I’m not sure he will last until then. The only thing that seems to be keeping Merlin in Camelot is his stubborn resolve to see things through. He speaks of his duty as if it’s the only thing that matters, but I’m uncertain if he really means it anymore or if he’s simply repeating the words until he convinces himself.

These are strange and dark times. It wouldn’t surprise me if Merlin shatters under the pressure within the month.

\- Gaius

*

**Intercepted**

Mother,

Has Gwen been sending you any letters? She seems different after her time in the Dark Tower and Elyan’s death. Compared to the way she grieved after her father’s death, this seems to be something else entirely.

Maybe I’m being paranoid.

\- Merlin

*

Dear Hunith,

I worry for Merlin. He’s more closed off than ever. It seems that he looks at everyone in Camelot as if they’re some sort of threat.

Do you think he could use some time off?

\- Queen Guinevere of Camelot

*

Mother,

I’ve always known that I care more about Arthur than he does me. Our friendship has been strained by our class difference from the start. I’ve done so much for him ~~that he can never know about~~ and in return he has done a lot for me too. Not the same amount, but enough for me to at least think that our friendship isn’t completely one sided.

Today, he forgot about me. He was under the impression that I was in the hands of someone he didn’t trust and when the day was saved, he turned around and left. Arthur Pendragon had to be reminded about the person he once called his truest friend. And I don’t even know why I’m so surprised. He doesn’t know how much I do for him. He may never know. Arthur has become a truly great king, yet it seems like that greatness is meant for everyone except me.

You taught me not to do things just for the reward, but I hadn’t realised that I was still hoping for at least something as recompense for this ~~destiny~~ duty.

\- Merlin

*

To Hunith of Ealdor,

You wouldn’t happen to know who Emrys is, would you?

\- Morgana Pendragon

*

Hunith,

Merlin revealed his magic. He’s journeying to save Arthur even now. The King is taking the news as well as can be expected. They were both alive the last I saw them. I’m sorry that I cannot give you more than that.

\- Gaius

*

Dear Lady Hunith of Ealdor,

Sir Percival and I are about to set out to find Morgana and stop her from tracking the Princess and his loyal protector. We will end her if it’s the last thing we do.

\- Sir Gwaine of wherever Merlin calls home

*

Arthur and Gwaine are dead.

\- Merlin

*

Hunith,

It’s been three years, and there is still no sign of him. Wherever Merlin is, I’m sure that he is safe, but it is time we gave up our search. If he does not want to be found, then he won’t be.

The Queen is forcing me to retire within the month. Perhaps it’s time that I moved to Ealdor.

\- Gaius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the first letter literally brought tears to my eyes and reminded me why I like inserting Aithusa into as many Merlin fics as I can.


End file.
